i miss you so much ....

hey, i just hope u read this.

i know past these few months had been tough for you and me. for us. i know we go through a lot,we fight over little things,busy with our stuffs till not being able to spent our time together. its been a hard time for us aite?? to many problems come at one time, we just think bout others, we care bout other people's feeling and we have to make many tough decisions. everything that happened to us, made us stronger. hm, wanna know something? i never give up on us. never syg. i know whatever i said to you before hurted you a lot. i said tht i gave up on us, i said that i'm tired of all this shit, i even said that i dont love you anymore. but deep in my heart. i love youu. so much. i said all of those things cause i want you to hate me, i did it cause of you. i know you're not happy with me and i cant make u happy. i dont wanna ruined your future. hm, i would give up my world for you. No words can explain how i feel about you...

I never want to lose whatever we have. you're the best part of my life and i wanna work through thick and thin with you. i dont want anyone to split us up, you're the reason why i smile everyday. i just love you the way you're and you dont even have to change to please me. i miss you, i miss those day tht we could spent our time together,our little talks, your smiles, i miss everything about you. i miss us. Everything tht we do,we do it together, we used to share everything together.those late night calls,nicknames, teasing and taking careof each other, random text messages, celebrating anniversaries, meeting each other , hugs and kisses, making fun of each other, hanging out.just us yknow :')  i know we've changed a lot. but if i could turn back the time, i wanna fix things up. it shouldnt be this way. i love you. i want you in my life. i know i always screwed things up, i know im not good enough for you , i know. we grew up different backgrounds. but since i met you, you changed me a  lot. and i would like to thank you cause you care for me, love me for who i am, always listen to my probs,and all the precious memories that you gave. im pretty sure im not gonna forget everything that we had. thanks for everything,. there's to many to thank for. you're the sweetest person that i've ever met. hmm , i just wish i can spend my entire life with you. cause i just want you , and i dont want anyone else..  how can i fall for someone else if my heart is still with you. but... i know its impossible for us to be together. whenever i thought of it, i'll cry cause i cant be with the person that i love most in my life ....

i know i always asked for more from you, i am sorry, sorry cause not being able to be a good lover for you,

im sorry for all the mistakes that i've made, i am sorry for my bad behaviour, im sorry that i hurt you,im sorry tht i cant make you smile, im sorry cause i make you cry,im sorry cause i couldn't fullfil your expectations,hmm im sorry for whatever i did with you ..

yknow, if i could give you one thing in life,i would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then you know how special you're to me.

btw, i didnt leave you. i've promised u right? i'll always be with you. i just dont want you to be scared of anything anymore. i know u loves me so much.i just think this is what i supposed to do. its for your happiness, yknow i could do anything for you... thank you for the happiness tht you brought throughout these years :')

loads of love ,

diyana ...

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts i want to think,

all the walks i want to take,

all the books i want to read,

and all the friends i want to see ...

why is it so hard for you to understands me ? 

i just want you to support me, always give me advise tht can encourage me to do good things,i want you to always love me and be there for me whenever i need you. is that too much to asked for? i didnt expect you'll say tht you're tired of giving advise to me. you really breaks my heart syg. but its okay, i'll be fine as long as you're with me :') everyday i waited for you , day and night. i patiently wait . you're the last thing i think before i sleep and the first thing i think whenever i woke up. i miss you so much. 

goodnight love .

Diyana...

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part 
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart 
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds 
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
'Till I've had enough

Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and i break down
your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

hey. its been awhile since i updated my last entry.  its almost a year !!

Dah 2014 sekarang, agak sedih la sebab this year celebtare new year atas katil dalam kamsis ja. i hope i'm in penang last night. *sighh. its okay. tahun depan ada. insya allah :) 

i'm pretty sure im gonna miss 2013 . it's not a good year for me cause many bad things happened in that year. but 2013 has tought me so many lessons. people just came and go in my life , i lost my friends, and gain a new one. i go through bad times a lot. thanks to those who always be by my side no matter in what situation im in. whatever it is , just enjoy your life while you can . it wont last forever, and while you're having a bad times, dont be sad cause it wont last forever either :) 

with love ,

Diyana .